Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize