i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize