kristin has been a bad kristin
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
