I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize