soooo we both peed the bed last night...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
