Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
