Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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