Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Randomize
