Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
