i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize