oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
