Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
