i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
