How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
