i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
