I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
