His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I deserve this hangover.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
