i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
