return my video game
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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