I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
