i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize