Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
