There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
