my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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