Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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