I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
