Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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