i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
