Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
