Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
