she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize