I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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