Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
