oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
