u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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