oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
