Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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