I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
