He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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