make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
