i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
