I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
