how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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