thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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