How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
