I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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