we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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