i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
my poor anus
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
