So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
