So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
