Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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