you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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