covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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