I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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