Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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