You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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