I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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