Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cannot find my penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can vaginas get frostbite?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
